sleepless nights

*sigh* another sleepless night it seems,
so its 3:30 am(even though the post time says different, my computers a retard) and i once again am so awake it hurts, and as per usual...i cant get her houtta my head.

her friend gave me another idea that i cant stop thinking about...i really should write a song indirectly about her...but me being the idiot i am, i cant come up with anything...well more like im coming up with way too much. Every time i try to start writing it the ideas pour out like a waterfall and i cant tell which will be the right ones...the perfect ones.
ugh, i really wish i could sleep, plus it also doesn't help that i just polished off an entire pack of smokes in 5 hours...i really need to quit, or find a new less dangerous addiction.

for those who don't quite know yet, this will be day three of me waiting for her, and i can honestly say i've never been more patient and willing to wait, it kinda scares me, along with a few other things such as my insane mindset that i dont need or want anything sexual, which for those who don't know me is a big deal, i don't know though, i really just feel like i need something with actual feeling and emotion instead of just a physical connection, and of course i had that but im an idiot and ruined it.

right well...im starting to get kinda tired now so im gonna try and go to sleep, will post another one tomorow afternoon.

goodnight everyone,
josh.